We live in a world saturated with self-improvement articles and lists. Despite my best efforts to follow everyone’s unsolicited advice about how I can improve my street smarts, book smarts, attitude, efficiency, wardrobe, eating habits, yoga postures, and conversation skills, I’ve held onto a few vices. I’m not a pathological liar. I don’t text while driving. I try to walk as much as possible. I floss. I cut up those plastic rings from soda cans to protect the dolphins. But I digress. Here is a list of things I could change, should change, but probably won’t ever change:
1| Hitting the snooze button
Sure, I’ve seen all the articles promising more energy, alertness, and maybe even a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow of my day if I pop out of bed as the first chime rings. It all sounds great when I’m about to doze off, 100% committed to the integrity of my 5:45 wake-up call. Yet despite my best efforts, the doldrums of early morning combined with sleep-clouded judgment keep me begging my alarm for another 15 minutes…usually about four times in a row. Regardless, I still manage to get up, get dressed, and make it to work on time, so cut a sister some slack, m’kay? I may not look the best but I’m on time and that’s saying a lot because I usually only allot myself 45 minutes to get ready!
2| Becoming A New Level of Lazy After Work
Not like every day, but if it’s been a long day…or it’s Friday…or Monday. I just become a part of the couch like the pirates were literally a part of the ship in whatever Pirates of the Caribbean that was. I don’t want to eat, drink, pee or move from underneath my blanket. I just want to drool on myself and watch Joanna Gaines remove load-bearing walls and add 20 vases to one room in such an eloquent manner.
3| Not Wearing My Seat-belt
I know. I know. Please don’t look at me like that. Or do. That incessant dinging stops eventually and I think I’ve found a playlist that perfectly drowns out the noise. It’s not safe and it’s something I’m working on. Especially when my fiance is there is remind me as much as much as my seat-belt is.
4| Anti-Friday Night Events
In all honesty I never had any intention of going to that dinner/happy hour/electro-reggae warehouse rave even though I was all about it yesterday. Friday nights were made for no pants, lots of snacks, Netflix, and reading lists such as this one. Plus I’m going to feel like a champion in the morning. Maybe I’ll go for a hike or yoga or a yoga hike. Maybe I’ll finally get rid of the six giant boxes in my trunk from when I moved six months ago. Maybe I’ll just read some more lists. Either way my mind is made up that I’ll be in bed by 9PM.
5| Eating my whole meal in one sitting
I was scrolling through my Facebook and one of those “Get Ready For Summer By Eating Ice Chips and Air” popped up- in all seriousness it was really just promoting eating more greens but your girl likes to have a Milky Way Midnight every day. One of the pro-tips I learned was to ask for a take-out container as soon as my food arrives so I can box up half of it and save it for later. It’s smart and economical and something I will never do. I was put on this Earth to live my life to the fullest and if that means eating my meal to the point where I can lick the plate clean then so be it! I understand that portion sizes at restaurants are two to three times what I should be eating in one sitting so will happily sign a waiver before my meal if it comes to this. Seriously, though—just let me live and yes I’d like to see a dessert menu.
6| Social Media
It all starts with one Ellen DeGeneres video and I’m 3 hours into Facebook and watching how candles are made in a small village in Switzerland. I begin to tag all my friends I think would find this funny (because it is) then proceed to ask them if they watched the video yet that I tagged them in. I’m like a 13 year who just got their first cell phone sometimes- I just can’t put it down. THE INTERNET IS JUST SO FUNNY!
We all have our things. Dare to share yours? I’d love to hear them so I know I’m not the only one out there!