My Home

A house provides shelter, but a home is where you weather all of life’s little storms — and revel in the sunshine. But there are things that transform a mere shelter into a safe haven.

Each time I return home, I greet the house. This is my way of expressing thanks for the shelter and comfort it provides me. You can even do this by reflecting on your gratitude in your mind as you walk through the front door. A change in perspective can alter your reality.

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Every Day I Live Like It’s 1999

The 90s was a very special period that won’t be recreated any time soon- even though Target is really trying to make the 90s happen. I see you matching Nylon track-jacket that’s labeled retro. Just remember it all comes back, except Verizon doing the whole free phone rotation.

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Keeping Good Company

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.

-Oprah Winfrey

We invest a lot of time in our friendships, so after awhile it can be very difficult to see which ones are positive and which ones are toxic. Sometimes, we are blinded by how long we’ve known someone or how the relationship used to be. We let that be an excuse for longer than it should – we stay in contact when it’s actually turned into a very unhealthy dynamic.

But, one of the most important things we can do as we get older is to differentiate between the relationships that make us better and the ones that drain us of all of our energy. Continue reading

The Oxford Guide

I’ve hit a case of writer’s block because I feel that I am struggling to find my blogging voice- bloice. If I’m being honest- this is a lot of work. Keeping up with several different social platforms is very exhausting- my life is not that exciting. I don’t go to New York for fashion week, I go to Brooklyn to visit Danielle and her grampa. I don’t shop at Neiman Marcus, I actually don’t even really shop anymore. I feel like I’m falling behind in fashion and letting my blog down. I want this to be everything that I love while showing my followers who I am -even if my only followers are my parents. I may not know the direction I want this to go but I know what I want my blog to be something I am proud of.

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She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful

There are people in my life that have beautiful qualities about them- ones that are rare but beautiful. They are kind by nature. Their personalities have people flocking to befriend them. From their empathetic character to their gentle fashion,
they have people wanting to live better lives.

Don’t criticize people’s actions, ideas or looks. You never know the true story plus making people laugh because you’re truly funny is so much better than making fun of others. It’s just in poor taste. Here’s looking at you Pete Davidson.

Be kind to yourself even on the worst of days. From your past to physical physique- ease up. Life’s too short.

Empathy is a beautiful trait. Listen when someone is having a hard time, don’t think about what you want to say. Offer advice that is helpful and that comes from the heart. Continue reading

You’re A Good Boy

To my first baby. The first being I had to care for other than myself. The first puppy who I could call my own. I look at you now and my heart breaks. Daddy tells me that you aren’t old but when I watch you get up- it’s slower, I notice those puppy bursts are becoming less frequent and the worst is that those big brown eyes are a bit more tired.

I worry about you all the time- everyone tells me that I need to RELAX and what will happen when we have kids? But I worry, I know you love the car but it’s getting harder for you to jump up. I just can’t take the thought of your body failing you and that you can’t tell me what hurts. You wait by the couch for us to lay down and you keep us company there. I just naturally drop my hand to reach for you. To pet you. To kiss the top of your head.

I have to remember to be present. When you nudge me to pet you but I’m too busy checking my Instagram or watching my SnapChat- I forget. It isn’t until you give up on getting some lovin’ that my heart hurts. I can’t tell you with my words how much you mean to me. You can’t like my status updates on your birthday or re-watch the videos I take of you. My actions towards you are the only love you know. I would cradle you in my arms forever if that’s what it took to make you feel better. I’d do that for you, I hope you know that. I hope my actions are enough for you to live the best life.

You have always been there for me. You’re the best boy- the most lovable dog I ever had. I remember (because Donnie doesn’t let me forget) how I wanted your brother initially but because he’s always right we got you instead.  Everyone who meets you instantly falls in love with the big polar bear.

You are always by my side first thing in the morning, wagging your tail, waiting to get your morning hug. You might be the happiest, most loyal dog I’ve ever met and I love you for it.

I’m sorry the thunder scares you and the fireworks seem like they’ll never end but I promise we will always do what we can to make you feel safe. I know that you hate going to the groomer and the vet scares you but it’s for the best. I will always be there to make sure it’ll be alright.

I know your hips ache and your body is getting old, but it still makes me happy when you start wagging your tail and put a big puppy smile on your face. And for that split second it makes me feel like you’re still that baby we brought home 7 years ago.

I know my camera is always in your face and I constantly am hugging you but I like watching you because I don’t know how much longer we’ll have. I want you to be the big brother to our children and I want you to see the home that we dream of building but I know that won’t happen. I can see it in the way you sigh and look at me. I hate thinking about it but I want to make every moment of your life happy.

Watching you grow old is one of the most painful things and it’s breaking my heart, but at least I know you had a good life when you became part of mine. I will sit by your side through every breath you take, my arms around you- like we’ve always done.

I know you can’t read this and you probably will never understand how much you mean to me, but I want you to know you’re so loved and I’m so thankful for you in my life. I won’t let a day go by where I don’t show you how much you mean to me because you’ve shown me love all this time.

You’re my best friend and I cry as I write this ode to you but I know that you’re only here for a short time. You put such an imprint on our family that will last a lifetime. Thank you for all of your love, your nudges and your cuddles. I never knew I needed this from you but it’s all I could ask for. Thanks bubba. You’re a good boy.

Bad Habits I’ve Embraced

We live in a world saturated with self-improvement articles and lists. Despite my best efforts to follow everyone’s unsolicited advice about how I can improve my street smarts, book smarts, attitude, efficiency, wardrobe, eating habits, yoga postures, and conversation skills, I’ve held onto a few vices. I’m not a pathological liar. I don’t text while driving. I try to walk as much as possible. I floss. I cut up those plastic rings from soda cans to protect the dolphins. But I digress. Here is a list of things I could change, should change, but probably won’t ever change:

1| Hitting the snooze button

Sure, I’ve seen all the articles promising more energy, alertness, and maybe even a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow of my day if I pop out of bed as the first chime rings. It all sounds great when I’m about to doze off, 100% committed to the integrity of my 5:45 wake-up call. Yet despite my best efforts, the doldrums of early morning combined with sleep-clouded judgment keep me begging my alarm for another 15 minutes…usually about four times in a row. Regardless, I still manage to get up, get dressed, and make it to work on time, so cut a sister some slack, m’kay? I may not look the best but I’m on time and that’s saying a lot because I usually only allot myself 45 minutes to get ready!

2| Becoming A New Level of Lazy After Work

Not like every day, but if it’s been a long day…or it’s Friday…or Monday. I just become a part of the couch like the pirates were literally a part of the ship in whatever Pirates of the Caribbean that was. I don’t want to eat, drink, pee or move from underneath my blanket. I just want to drool on myself and watch Joanna Gaines remove load-bearing walls and add 20 vases to one room in such an eloquent manner.

3| Not Wearing My Seat-belt

I know. I know. Please don’t look at me like that. Or do. That incessant dinging stops eventually and I think I’ve found a playlist that perfectly drowns out the noise. It’s not safe and it’s something I’m working on. Especially when my fiance is there is remind me as much as much as my seat-belt is.

4| Anti-Friday Night Events

In all honesty I never had any intention of going to that dinner/happy hour/electro-reggae warehouse rave even though I was all about it yesterday. Friday nights were made for no pants, lots of snacks, Netflix, and reading lists such as this one. Plus I’m going to feel like a champion in the morning. Maybe I’ll go for a hike or yoga or a yoga hike. Maybe I’ll finally get rid of the six giant boxes in my trunk from when I moved six months ago. Maybe I’ll just read some more lists. Either way my mind is made up that I’ll be in bed by 9PM.

5| Eating my whole meal in one sitting

I was scrolling through my Facebook and one of those “Get Ready For Summer By Eating Ice Chips and Air” popped up- in all seriousness it was really just promoting eating more greens but your girl likes to have a Milky Way Midnight every day. One of the pro-tips I learned was to ask for a take-out container as soon as my food arrives so I can box up half of it and save it for later. It’s smart and economical and something I will never do. I was put on this Earth to live my life to the fullest and if that means eating my meal to the point where I can lick the plate clean then so be it! I understand that portion sizes at restaurants are two to three times what I should be eating in one sitting so will happily sign a waiver before my meal if it comes to this. Seriously, though—just let me live and yes I’d like to see a dessert menu.

6| Social Media

It all starts with one Ellen DeGeneres video and I’m 3 hours into Facebook and watching how candles are made in a small village in Switzerland. I begin to tag all my friends I think would find this funny (because it is) then proceed to ask them if they watched the video yet that I tagged them in. I’m like a 13 year who just got their first cell phone sometimes- I just can’t put it down. THE INTERNET IS JUST SO FUNNY!

We all have our things. Dare to share yours? I’d love to hear them so I know I’m not the only one out there!

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Have We Desensitized Ourselves?

When I was in the second grade I learned a valuable lesson that has stuck with me this far in life. So I am sure I’ll be the grandmother reminding her grandchildren of these wise words I heard so many years ago. I was told that “Booing is rude.” Simple enough. We were caught heckling other children on the playground as they missed the first pitch of the kickball game. My teacher was mortified- she scolded all of us for our rude behavior. A simple statement that meant so much more than playground contempt.

Making fun of someone is rude no matter how you cut it. A mocking comment and snide remark – they’re easy to make and impossible to take back. I might come off as lacking a sense of humor or being uptight but honestly I just don’t find it amusing. Nowadays (I say this like I have lived through the Great Depression) the internet is full of ridicule. A girl posts a terrible picture of her friend on Facebook that is shared a handful of times. A Reddit user takes this picture and turns it into a meme that is shared over 12 million times. She is now the new face of entertainment and is in the spotlight whether she wanted it or not. People for years will say “weren’t you that girl?”.

Growing up the internet was new. We learned to type, played simple games on simple systems on computers as big as my oven. There was no ability to share our lives- let alone every thought that came into our heads. We got updates and pictures from family that lived far away that they mailed- MAILED. If we didn’t like a product or service we just didn’t go back to that restaurant or order from that catalog. Word of mouth was all we had. A bad experience was never instantly uploaded in the heat of the moment. Opinions are like assholes no one wants any part of yours (unless you’re into that then this doesn’t pertain to you). Keep that to yourself and grow up.

People can hide behind a keyboard pretty easily but no one has the gal to say it to someone’s face. It’s easy for me to post a review and not think twice about a single repercussion. People love the instant gratification Facebook, email, and Instagram bring so they constantly think their opinion is gold.

I remember sitting with my grandfather and he would be mumbling/ swearing under his breath when he didn’t like someone that came on the TV. No one outside of the room knew he did that. Now people take it to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. So you get that abuse from every living room in America and make it publicly available to everyone who wants to see it. It makes us look like we are much worse than before but I wonder is it just because we now just make it more visible? There’s another thought to this argument- are the people who were assholes in 1989 just assholes with an iPhone? Is it now just that we have a visible platform to stand upon? Where before if my grandfather got going on politics I could just leave the room- now everyone has that racist relative you can’t help but cringe when you see their name pop up in your newsfeed.

Social media has given us the ability to say what we want, how we want, when we want. It has given us the ability to upload a photo within seconds that also gives us the inability to “take it back”. We hide behind the keys of our phones- crude comments about people or businesses the that can be shared worldwide. Businesses have succumb to pleasing the craziest of thoughts and suggestions just so they don’t become the next Cracker Barrel.

There are people who have, to kindly put it, A LOT OF FUCKING TIME on their hands- so they can ruin you in one fell swoop. It’s easier to appease these people than it is to defend your company, your product, your employees.

The mentality has become “I don’t like this so I need to tell everyone.”

Do people not understand what they are doing to others? Have we become numb to what we are saying? (That is definitely a lyric of a song). All I’m asking is think twice before you take your thoughts to the World Wide Web.

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Valentine’s Day: Harry Potter