5 Songs That Make My Drunk Self Happy

1. Single Ladies

This is the time that all “unmarried” women ban together and dance out their frustrations out like Kevin Bacon in Footloose. You can also shun those who had their man “put a ring on it”. They cannot partake in this ritual dance because they just don’t understand! Girls wiggle their left hand and channel their inner Queen B. We all have our favorite parts of the dance, you only know that arm pushing down  move? GREAT! You know within those few notes that this is your time to shine, you may only know 10% of the dance but WHO CARES! Just keep it up and remember, getting out to dance to Beyonce is never a bad idea.

2. Baby Got Back

Every time this song comes on I pretend I am Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels. I start to shake my butt but I am sure it looks more like I’m convulsing. Then I give a big Fuck You to Becky and her judgmental friends. This song is so amazing because it unites us all. It is just such a fun song to dance around to with your girls! Girlfriend, wiggle that butt, and be proud of what you got!
36-24-36?, only if she’s 5’3″… Truer words have never been spoken..

3. Yeah (ya know… Peace up! A Town down!)

This is the time that every white girl tries her damnest to look “hood” or they are trying to get their grind on. You over there, yeah you, pushed up against the wall by dude in the beater, you do you boo boo. As soon as those drums beat, it is like we are possessed and then I rap Luda’s entire portion of the song…Be proud Mom! Pending the amount of Jolly Rancher shots in your system, will determine if you’re a lady in the street but a freak in the bed…

4. I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Whenever Whit comes on, I first and foremost pour some of my drink out on the floor for her. See here. Mostly I just piss the girl off who’s tacky heels I just poured my Vodka/Club out on but I do it out of respect bitch! Then I sing like I have never sung before, mostly because I am screaming, in public, while dancing like I am a member of Danity Kane. From there I reenact EVERY SINGLE LINE of that song, like some weird interpretive dance routine. But god, I love that song…

5. Cotton Eye Joe

So I was out with a good friend of mine this past weekend and we decided to go out dancing. Well at one point the Cotton Eye Joe came on and shit got weird…I will never forget when my father bought a new stereo. This was early 90’s and the damn thing probably cost him an arm and a leg. It is still to this day the biggest thing I have ever seen, each speaker was the size of my torso…. Well the first song we played on that puppy was the freakin Cotton Eye Joe… So then I get to middle school and we have Friday night dances and this is where I learned the infamous dance. I don’t care who you are or where you came from but once that song comes on you can’t help but dance…

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