A few nights ago I was out and about with my girlfriends and we decided to go downtown. It was homecoming for the local college so EVERYONE was out. Well I have never felt so old in my life. I witnessed many things that hurt my soul but my favorite was one kid, who was obviously using his parents credit card, flipped out when they wouldn’t close out his tab immediately (the bartender was in the middle of taking an 8 person order) and another kid screamed “I am here to get as drunk as I possibly can!” while looking my group of friends up and down, nodding in approval.
Now I am not saying I have never acted like this, because that would be a bold faced lie. I am also not claiming this doesn’t still happened, because it does every now and then. But dear God, if I drank as much as I did in my early 20s I would be unemployed and probably in rehab. So here are some minor changes I have been noticing from college life until now.
Then- Something tight- less is better and hopefully made of spandex- let’s not forget heels that make your legs look like a Rockette!
Now- Friday- I’m thinking no bra, paired with a boyfriend friend tee…and by that I mean a bra-less night with sweatpants and your boyfriend’s old baseball t-shirt
Then: You had hours to get ready and sorority sisters down the hall to help out! Make-up was fun and you had hours to watch You-Tube videos on the perfect smokey eye
Now: I’m lucky if I have enough time to brush my hair in the morning
Ordering Drinks and Food
Then- Typically you go to Applebees for half-price apps, under-tip the waiter then drink your face off in your dorm room because you can’t afford drinks at the bar! You also wear the best outfit, so people buy you lots of drinks
Now- You and your friends go to a restaurant- sit down and eat actual food, and tip the waiter well. You share a few bottles of wine after asking what kind pairs best with your meal. Then you are home before midnight in bed watching Netflix
Now: Anything straight up is straight up vile.
Then: It didn’t happen! You went everywhere, seven days a week and you didn’t leave until they made you. Your best friends pseudo boyfriend’s best friend’s roommate’s birthday: wouldn’t miss it!
Now: If anyone calls me after 11 I think someone has died
Then: Loud bass, seizure inducing lights, sweaty men, watered down drinks- I’m there!
Now: Clubs? No thank you I’d rather go camping
Then: You make terribly strong mixed drinks of cheap vodka and whatever juice is in the fridge. You drink while you shower, change your outfit 40 times and put your makeup on!
Now: If I start drinking somewhere that is “the event”. There is no lets get drunk before we go out- because it isn’t socially acceptable to do that anymore.. and showing up to your work Christmas party wasted is typically frowned upon.
Big Night Out
Then: “I’ll sleep when I’m dead!” So what it’s 6am let’s start day drinking!
Now: Is planned at least a week in advanced, because weekends are now filled with practices, birthday parties and cleaning.
The Next Morning
Then: “Do you think anyone in Chem Lab will notice I’m still in my sequins dress from last night?”
Now: I accomplish nothing, my whole body is off and I will literally sweat out the alcohol for the next 3 days.
Someone Asks For Your Number
Then: You TRY to get as many numbers as your can, your night is unsuccessful if no one hit on you
Now: What part of me sitting here in a corner not looking at you say “Yes! Come over and hit on me!”