May the “Prince Farming” Hysteria Commence

I had ALMOST forgotten how crazy this show can make girls. I’m a fairly new fan to the show but honestly after this season, I don’t know if anything else will live up to the hysteria brought on by Chris Soules and his debate-ably  psychotic ladies. So buckle up everyone because we are in for one hell of a season!

There are a few things that were a bit odd to me. Again I want to make it clear, I am not a religious watcher of the show so I have little to go off of. But I do know crazy and that ladies & gents is what we have here! SO that being said, here are my thoughts thus far on Season 19!

All of that bright lipstick

Chris constantly has lipstick all over his face because everyone wears it. I wonder if Chris said that he liked girl’s in lipstick.. one time.. in passing… and it took off running. Like the whole scarf thing last season (thanks for that Nick).

Kimmel even gets in on the action and accuses Farmer Chris of cross-dressing, due to the hot pink lipstick smeared all over his mouth, if he only knew it was all the time. At least we know now that lipstick equals rose!

 

Jillian’s blurred out ass

There are only three reasons that they have blurred this out:

1. Her bikini bottoms are transparent
2. She is wearing a thong/ shorty shorts
3. Hairy ass (Drunk girl #2 said so!!)

I’m pretty sure it’s just because she’s not wearing pants.

 

Crazy girls

Kale’s Mom

First off, that alien comments! Then the organic comment! You don’t even know what alfalfa is, Mackenzie. What do you care if it’s organic?

Crazy Blonde #1 (I think her name is Ashley)

I thought someone was getting money for keeping this bitch on the show but it obviously wasn’t enough to keep her. She did leave us with some of the most quotable lines in the show’s history. Sadly the producers couldn’t convince Chris to keep her on, so long live the onion-pomegranates, and Mesa Verde!

Jordan

She is my spirit animal. I wish she hung around longer for the sheer entertainment. She twerks for us, spreads rumors about hairy asses and seemed to be drunk the whole 3 days she was there. What’s not to love?

The Bachelor

 

Other Ashley’s Eyelashes…

how they look:

what I think will happen to them:

 

They all cry

You do know that you actually don’t know this man? Most of you have known him for a solid 4 hours… Please stop crying, it makes you look insane. They cry when they get voted off, they cry when he isn’t nice enough to them, they cry when they tell him they’re virgins. I mean granted he knew coming into this he would have to deal with his fair share of crazy, but I don’t think he knew the extent.

Yet again, Kimmel knocks it out of the park and sums up my entire point in one sentence “But we spent four days together!” Please come back JK we love you!!

The Bachelor The Bachelor

 

Chris is Pretty Boring

He is probably the least interesting person in the room. I wasn’t even shocked when he said that he was engaged before. Yes the man is a hot farmer (did you know he is missing harvest for this?!) But a lot of craziness has happened so far and I can’t help but think that the producers did it on purpose. Since Chris is a snoozefest most of the time, they had to turn up the usual drama! Do we need the batshit crazies to distract us from the fact that he’s kind of a lame-o? The answer is 100% YES!

 

So overall I am super excited to see the Sister Wive drama unfold. The poor bastard doesn’t even know what’s about to hit him. They put his house 100 yards away and apparently doesn’t have a lock!

 

Either way I hope this season is worth it for Chris because I know it will be for me! Ladies, may the odds be ever in your favor. Cheers to all the tears, drinks and dramatics this show has ever seen!

Can’t wait til Monday!

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