On my way to work this morning, I came to the conclusion that driving can be a nightmare whether you’re 16 or 60 or going 4 miles or cross-country. I’m certainly not saying I’m the greatest driver to ever live, but I am saying that people, in general, need to get things together… I mean, hello…you are literally the conductor of your very own 5,000 pound machine, so put down the mascara and I don’t know…drive? Here’s an inconclusive list the 7 types of drivers that make you wish you stayed home. Feel free to add your own!
The Sunday Stroller
This person enjoys a nice drive between the hours of 8 AM and 9AM. every weekday. Typically they have no where to go, or maybe breakfast! They stay safely under the speed limit and are found on one-lane roads – no passing here, folks! People! Sunday is your day, steer clear the other six.
Jeff Gordon Jr.
The person who drives like they’re auditioning for the last Fast and the Fursious extra spot. But really, it’s just rush hour on a Friday and we’re on a two lane road, and you cut me off going 95. Hey dickhead, now I get to sit behind you while your bass give me a heart mummer.
Very similar to our favorite Sunday driver except this one pulls out in front of you. The blinker still on for the next 7 miles, giving false hope they’ll soon move out of your way. The elderly also seem to drive dangerously slow so don’t expect anything quick to happen.
There are one of two options we have here. We have the kid who still has his mom riding shotgun. They freak out on the highway and go the literal speed limit everywhere else. Then we have the child who is freed from their parent, they text, speed, tailgate and blast music… and rear-end your car.
The person who is in a constant state of hesitation. Do I go? Do I brake? You almost hit them 10 times because no one (including said hesitater) knows what they’re doing! It’s frustrating because more often than not, someone is doing something they shouldn’t be doing in a car.
The Beauty Queen
Girlfriend, I get it. You’re running late! You need to touch up your lipgloss… oh and your primer, foundation, bronzer, eyeliner and eyeshadow! I mean I can see your busy and you’re doing your best to get it all done at the red light so I shouldn’t expect you to go EVERY time the light turns green, totes obvi!
This is the person who makes my blood boil! These people really do not care about anyone’s safety. They speed, swerve and verve into other lanes. They will try to cut you off when the lane is about to end and you will also see this parking in two spots on a Saturday morning at Target.