Let me take you back to 1994 when my neighbors thought it would be a great idea to order pizza! I freakin’ love pizza like I do the 4 other foods I eat. Well no one cleared it by me to order an everything pie so I left. I was 5 and I left their home without telling anyone because I was not having that shit.
The following year my mother enrolls me in kindergarten. Now I’m a daycare kid so I’m used to adjusting to the meals and telling Mrs. Drust my personal orders, like “no green beans but I’ll eat all my chicken nuggets I promise”. Well the lovely catholic school education offers breakfast every morning except Monday’s. You would think this wasn’t an issue but Monday’s were blueberry muffin day. When I would go up to my teacher crying because I didn’t like those kinds of muffins she tells me to eat around the blueberries! Lady you’re kidding right?! So my go to plan was to tell them I was sick and then I didn’t have to go to school on Mondays, people caught on.
So then Natalie comes into my life (and like any new relationship invites me over to play! Her mom is making chicken (that is one of the several foods I eat so no need to worry!). Well she brings out grilled chicken and I burst into tears. I don’t eat burnt food! A. I just insulted this woman B. Who cries over food?! Fast forward 20 years and Nat’s mom still invites me over every time they make burnt chicken.
You’re probably thinking holy shit this girl is weird unless you know a picky eater in that case you know how weird it actually is.
You’re friends know there needs to be something on the menu that you’ll eat and they usually offer options like “don’t worry they have chicken fingers”.
New restaurants are terrifying. There is so much you can do with food and you end up taking off all the good ingredients until you basically have a grilled cheese. But honestly you would probably enjoy the meal as is but it’s s too scary.
Sleepovers are a little intimidating. But after your mom debriefed the other moms they all knew to have a hamburger ketchup only ready and waiting and pop tarts without the crust were fine for breakfast.
Well now your an adult and a picky eater. Work dinners are scary because cutting up your food like you’re a world renowned surgeon isn’t a good conversation piece.
Going to a new and small restaurant (meaning their menu isn’t online) is a little scary. Not being able to inspect the menu before sends you into shear panic. You sit there in silence, inside your head deciding if the red sauce is a deal breaker or not. (True life I have texted my mom asking if I would like certain meals).
The comfort of ordering the one dish you know and love because everything else on the menu is repulsive.
Eating with your significant others family for the first time and someone failed to mention to their parents that you are repulsed by carrots and you literally have half a plate of them. Now they’re going to know their son is dating a psych or even worse… rude.
You’re ok as long as there is cheese, carbs and chicken. Pretty much my plate is always the same color. OH and dessert, I eat all things made with sugar.
I’m a cheap date because typically a smaller menu means a more expensive restaurant, which again is terrifying. I’m good with the spicy chicken nuggets from Wendy’s and a medium fry.
Ranch and ketchup have been life savers on more than one occasion.
“This isn’t how my mom makes it” because you parents have learned what meals they can take onions out of and what dinner’s should NEVER have tomatoes in it.
Constantly hearing you didn’t even try it or you don’t know if you don’t try gets annoying. I know what I like and I am getting “better” with trying different foods but there are some foods that I don’t enjoy eating. My friends and family pretty much know the drill so they have adapted and trust me I appreciate it!