The Friends You Need

I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends lately. It’s probably because several of my bests have gotten engaged over the past few weeks and so it got me thinking of course about… bridesmaids. I was never the little girl to sit and think about a wedding and colors and linens but I have always thought about bridesmaids and the people that I want standing next to me on the happiest day of my life. This group would come together because of me, be so excited for me and genuinely want to share in this special day.

You read so many articles about who “shouldn’t be in your life” and people posting quotes like”Maybe the bridges you burn light the way”. [I actually googles “burning bridges Pinterst quote” to find that- the internet is a weird place]. But we often overlook the people in our lives that add a little more sunshine and sparkle to our day. The ones who have been there, through it all even if you just met them a year ago.

The one you can always depend on to live-text something really weird or funny, because if you’re not both there to share it, that means you have to be on your phone as much as possible relaying the details and telling them about that thing that they just won’t believe. From live streaming the VS fashion show to the woman wearing a scrunchie- these details need to be shared!

The one who isn’t afraid to tell you the facts, who tells you exactly what you need to hear, who won’t let you leave the house with one eyebrow wonky. They’ll listen to you bitch for 20 minutes about something stupid and hear you out but when you ask “what do you think?” get ready to hear the whole truth. The one who loves you enough to respect you with the truth, and who wants you to be the best possible version of yourself that you can be, even if that means a little tough love to get there.

The one who remembers the things that are really important, who is there for big events and small ones that are only important to you. The one who actually calls you on your birthday and sings in your voicemail, who shares the big news with you first. These people also support what matters to you, like your blog, or coming to a field hockey game in the pouring rain.

The one who thinks of you before they think of themselves, knows when you need a pick me up, who shows up with coffee order or waits to see a movie because you HAVE to see it together – and who knows you love to do the exact same things for them.

The one who will go drink-for-drink with you all night, because you had a bad week and just need a fun night out. Then they come back to your house with you and have a [good thing we aren’t televised because this conversation is embarrassing] heart to heart and meet you the next morning to catch up over beer and extra bacon because you earned them.

The one who was there when bad things happened, who wrote you right away to ask if you were okay, if you needed anything, if they could come by – and really meant it. Everyone else might offer a little word here or there, but you know that they are the only one who would really drop everything, no matter what, and come help you feel better.

The one who says they love you and means it, because friend-love is no less special or in need of being expressed than romantic love.

The one who is there and I mean really there, not checking their Instagram while you’re crying on the bathroom floor or texting another friend while you’re trying to tell them about your shitty day at work. The one who listens and never pulls their phone out while you’re at dinner because you’re the best thing going on right now and honestly if you weren’t together you’d be the rude bitches texting.

The one who keeps your secrets, who knows everything but shares nothing because they know that you have nothing if you don’t have absolute trust. And plus you know some nasty shit about them so you’re pretty much thick as thieves.

The one who makes just sitting on a bed, eating snacks and marathonning SVU, the absolute best way to spend a weekend. The one who knows when a weekend away from society and bathing is the only plans you have for the next 48 hours. You can  hole up and be hermits and watch your favorite, weird things while getting tipsy by yourselves.

The one who makes you feel at home, no matter how long you’ve known them, no matter how you met them. The one who immediately became irreplaceable, who knows you better than you know yourself – who feels like family the way family should always be, fun and happy and totally without judgment or malice. The one who makes you feel loved, and realize that you deserve to be.

Little bits and pieces of your people helped create the beautiful soul that you are today. So tell your friends you love them, send a written letter or take a trip to visit them. Life is short surround yourself with nothing but love and happiness.

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