Sometimes we are composed, refined, thoughtful young ladies. Sometimes we want to sip complicated red wine and have a nuanced discussion about philosophy or politics. Sometimes, though, a song comes on that makes you start convulsing as if you’ve been moved by the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues and shaking your ass so wildly you feel as though it might fall off. And there is nothing wrong with that. Let us all embrace the songs that unceremoniously push our inner housewives aside and start the party, one isolated ass cheek at a time.
Christina Aguilera – Dirrty
We’ve all been there- dancing like we’re in that Hep B infested bathroom with ass-less chaps on. Thank god X-Tina took on a stripper phase because it made all of us breathe a little easier. Thank you- we needed that.
Juicy J – Bandz A Make Her Dance
Lord. This songs brings out a whole other level of dancing for people who can’t dance. “All these chicks clapping and they ain’t using hands!” Now if that isn’t modern day Keats I don’t know what is.
Big Sean – Dance (A$$)
Yet another dollar-sign-as-letter-title promises and delivers on one of the most simple and effective ass-shaking songs of all times. This is an open invite to all women to shake and move.
Nicki Minaj – Anaconda
The perfect way to modernize every girls favorite song, “Baby Got Back”. Nicki keep doing what your doing girl.
Low-Flo Rida Lyrics
This is like a challenge. People have to fight the urge to NOT get low. I’ve never owned Apple Bottom jeans or boots with fur but I strut around the bar like I’m currently wearing them. Ladies… this is the song that those squats will pay off.
Ice Cube – You Can Do It
Ok so you really only know the refrain that’s alright because this brings out the animal in all of us. And in this moment you dance like you are none other than Queen B herself.
Ludacris – What’s Your Fantasy ft. Shawnna
This song has earned me many a drinks. My senior year of high school my best friends vowed to learn every line of this song and we did. This was more useful to know then I could have ever imagined.
Ginuwine – Pony
Maybe because of Magic Mike but this song just gets me!
R. Kelly – Bump N’ Grind
The lyrical genius behind “Trapped in the Closet” couldn’t have summed up my tequila filled Friday night when he said ” I don’t seen nothing wrong- with a little bump n’ grind”. Well said, well said.
Missy Elliott – Work It
All in all, it’s pretty embarrassing the amount of time I spent coming up with my very own personal choreography for this song. I know I’m not alone.
Jason Derulo – “Talk Dirty” feat. 2 Chainz
Still one of my favorite collaborations to be honest. This is one of those, “Wow, see kids, we had music in my day” songs.
Eve – Let Me Blow Ya Mind ft. Gwen Stefani
Now while I admittedly listened to A LOT of rap, it wasn’t what I associated with being a pre-teen girl. With the exception of a few songs, and this being one of them. Eve, who will always be one of my favorite rappers, slayed.