Truthful Marriage Vows We All Want to Say

I know what you’re thinking. Why do marriage vows matter?

Here’s why. Vows are promises. But not just any promises. Vows are markers that guide your marriage. So, while I’m not against writing vows Casanova would applaud, I am against vows that are more romantic and emotional than practical and honest.

In a culture that idolizes romantic love, we don’t need any more Shakespearean vows. We need vows that will shape and impact marriages. They remind us to keep holding on or they raise red flags to aspects of a relationship that need some attention. But marriage vows tend to be lofty, idealistic promises dripping in romance or generic, one-size-fits-all covenants that leave no room for nuance or reality. They often don’t reflect the real promises needed in a healthy partnership, which are different for each couple.

“I promise never to expect a 50/50 marriage.”

“I vow to always listen and to not talk over you — especially when I know you’re right.”

“I promise to speak to you and about with kindness and compassion.”

“I pledge to give you an acceptable answer whenever you ask ‘where should we go eat?’ instead of saying, ‘I don’t know, where do you want to go eat?’”

“I promise to be there for you, to encourage your dreams, to help you become the man/ husband/ father you are destined to be.”

“I will always tell you when something doesn’t look good on you.”

“I solemnly swear to order my own fries if I want them, and not ask for a small bite of your fries after saying I don’t like fries, then help myself to roughly half of them.”

“I vow to never get tired of grabbing your butt and poking you and nagging you every single day we’re together, until the end of time.”

“I promise to embrace all the parts of you – including your flaws, your snoring, your farts, your gross habits, and your strange fashion taste- including the FF Little League cut-off.”

“I promise to be a safe space for your secrets and vulnerabilities.”

I pledge to share control of the television even when your taste in entertainment sucks.”

“I promise to always poop with the door shut.”

“I promise to never complain about our marriage, in general, or you, in particular, to others.”

“I sincerely promise to trust you and respect your boundaries – and not to transform into a monster when I get all cRaZy.”

“I pledge to be as fair as possible in terms of the household duties.”

“I promise to never make you do something that should be done with my girlfriends. Except my birthday celebrations- it’s now become our thing!”

“I promise to be your partner in parenthood — to back you up in your parenting decisions rather than secretly allowing our kids to do whatever you told them not to do.”

“I vow to always make time for you and to initiate us time with you, no matter how stressful and busy life becomes.”

“I promise to be clear with my needs and expectations, and not make it difficult for you to guess what’s on my mind.”

“I vow to thrill you each day – to amaze and astonish you – did I mention all the magic tricks I am learning.”

I promise to also acknowledge your necessities and respond to them in the best way I can – including your late night pizza cravings.”

“I solemnly swear to be your best friend and your greatest fan, to walk beside you through thick and thin, and to support and encourage your dreams.”

“I promise to always recognize what’s beautiful about you (and about us), especially in the midst of dark days.”

“I will always be there to decide when your brain can’t make anymore decisions after a long day- including what kind of Blizzard you want from DQ.”

“I promise to believe the best is yet to come, regardless of how good or bad things are today.”

“I will always turn on the air conditioning if you are hot and I am freezing.”

“I pledge to defend you to others, even if I don’t agree, because that’s what partners are for.”

“I vow to give you the benefit of the doubt when it comes to our finances.” (DUH)

“I solemnly swear not to keep a scorecard of our wrongdoings.”

“I pledge to put your happiness before my own.”

“I promise not to care if you grow skinny or fat or old. Even if your hair is falling out, your skin is going flabby, and your waist is gaining a few inches, I’ll forever remember who we are, and love and cherish the person you are and you will be.”


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